Uncool Vulnerability

So It's been a long time since my last blog post. My previous blog was a pathetic lovesick post, but it was how i felt at the time. Ive grown up a lot since then, and this post will be nothing like that (:

Music. It has such a deep affect on us. Sometimes music is our shelter from the hurricanes life throws our way, our escape from harsh reality into the solace of hope and love. Sometimes it is the soundtrack to warm summer days filled with joy, laughter and summer romances. It is obvious to me that God is musical. He speaks of singing angels and gave humans a deep desire and connection to music. He delights in our worship of him through music. I also believe he gave us music to speak to us and to be our shelter. Everyone has a song that speaks to them, that contains words written by a stranger but that seems to be the very words of their heart. No other art speaks as impactfully and bravely as music. Songs (good songs anyway) are not "cool" they are vulnerable. Songs that realize we are not cool, that we fail. But in this realization, also knowing that these are the things that make us human. These are the things we can all relate to, especially in an incredible art form such as music.

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone else when we're uncool." -Lester Bangs in Almost Famous

Thoughts

So a couple days ago, i learned that one of the musicians i look up to the most, (especially as far as drummers go) Aaron Gillespie, left one of my favorite bands Underoath.

This news was horrible at first and i was pretty disappointed. But remembering back to an in-depth interview with the band, they said that they always believed Underoath was bigger then the people in the band, that God had this plan for Underoath that went beyond the people.

This proved to me that Underoath will still go on, it will be very differet without the voice and immense drumming talent of Aaron, but i believe Underoath will go on. Their fire and passion for God are still there, their incredible lyrics, Spencers vocals, and their beautiful music, has gone nowhere. They are a band that has spoken to me in many ways, and they will always be a favorite. Ignorant fans have bashed the band and Aaron for this decision, but they just dont get it. They are missing what UNDERØATH, really is

Nothing

I was listening to the new 30 Seconds To Mars record today, when i heard a line in the song titled "100 Suns" the line was "i believe in nothing, not in satin or in God, i believe in nothing not in peace and not in war. i believe in nothing but the truth in who we are". Here we have some humanist sprinkled nihilism. nihilism being literally the belief in nothing and humanism the belief that man is god. this lyric made me think. If all i believed in was myself, i think i wouldve killed myself long ago. Ive let myself and others down so many times, i wouldve found no reason to live. The deeper i go into myself, the more darkness and wretchedness i find. Thank God however, that i do not believe only in myself. The only hope for myself that i find is in my Savior. When im filthy with sin and darkness, he cleanses me and makes me new. I do not believe in myself, but i instead believe that God can make me new again. i fail to understand how people can go through their lives solely believing in themselves. I know i could not. Do not look to yourselves for meaning and purpose in life, do not look to yourselves to find goodness and joy. Instead look to the one who created you, the only one that can save you FROM yourself.

God Bless everyone and Merry CHRISTmas

Masks

It seems as though every single one of us wears a mask. When were going through something, or are just hurting deep inside we seem to hide it all away and wear a mask that says "Im happy i love life!" when in reality we can feel like were dying inside. Were afraid of what people may think, will they think im crazy? will they think im weird? When actually there are many people going through exactly what your going through. The best thing to do is to just let it all out, talk to someone you trust, just be open and throw your mask away. Do not be ashamed of who you are or what your going through. The longer we hold it in the worse it feels, until we dont even recognize the face underneath the mask. When were going through something, although we may not admit it, we want someone to talk to us about it. when someone asks "how have you been?" and we reply with a deep sigh saying "oh im okay". we want them to ask us whats wrong, we want to feel like someone cares about us and what were going through. But we have someone who loves us more than anything in the entire universe, someone who cares deeply about what were going through, and all we need to do is reach out to him.

Life and Death

Yesterday, i found myself visiting the cemetary to place flowers on my grandfather's grave. Silence seemed to overcome everyone there. I started thinking of the fragility of life, how so many people die every day, many die very young. Which got me thinking, if i died tomorrow, would i be happy with what i did in my life? As of now, my answer would be no. theres so many people i would like to apoligize to, and so many people who i would tell that i love them. We never know when our day will come, we cannot take any day in your life for granted. James Dean once said, "Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow". we must take hold of each day and live it to the fullest. you never know which day may be your last. Nad also remember, "Theres more to living to being alive"-Stephen Christian

"love, laugh, live free and sing, when life is in discord, praise ye the lord"-Anberlin

Heroes

Todays world is lacking in good role models, people we can all look up to and try to imitate. there are a select few though who truly and selflessly are trying to make this world a better place. one of my heroes and role models, one of the men i look up to the most, is Stephen Christian. Most know him as the lead singer of the band Anberlin. But not only is he a fabulous muscician and songwriter, he also is the cofounder of the humanitarian organization "Faceless International." Faceless International spread awareness and help those affected by human trafficking. He and those involved with the organization travel to different countries to minister to and help those affected by this trade.
Two more of my heroes are Renee Yohe, and Jamie Tworkowski of the organization "To Write Love On Her Arms." TWLOHA focuses on helping teens who struggle with depression, addiction and self injury. They present a hope and find help for these teens. Renee was once one of those teens who struggled with these things. but with the help of friends and God, she has become a new person. although she still has struggles, she has hope to move on and help others who struggle with the same things. She is my hero because after so much pain and hurt, she made it out and found hope and found God. She is one of the strongest people i know and she is my hero.

Who are your heroes? comment who your heroes are and why they are your heroes. im curious to see who they are!